There is no remedy for love but to love more.

Life is precious. Cherish it.

My mind races. My heart aches. Life hasn’t been the same. When you lose something you love, there’s never really anything that can replace it. Not fully at least, but shouldn’t there be something that can suffice? Apparently not in my case. I’m talking about my year.

Nothing can erase those words. 
Nothing can stop them from replaying every day 
Nothing can save me from the depths of my own mind.
Nothing can take away what I felt and still feel inside.
Nothing can turn back time to see what might have been.
Nothing can break the silence that grows thicker every night. 

Nothing can change what already is.  

You’re gone. 
 

So, you’ve spent most of your life without any independence

So, you’ve have always been the “church kid” 

So, you haven’t missed a sunday morning service in God knows when

So, you are honored for something in that mega church of yours

So, you have a perfect record and your a “perfect angel” in everyone else’s eyes

So, you’ve never done anything bad in your life, you’ve practically never sinned

So, your family has the perfect “Baptist church family” image

So, you care too much about your reputation to even talk to us troubled souls

So what. 

Doth thou really think thou art holier than I? 

Truly? 

And you wonder why people run from church like its the gates of hell. 

It’s not the church and what it stands for that people run from, it’s the hypocrisy that comes flowing out of 95% of the people there. 

Who wants to be around all that? Not me. 

I used to be the person described at the top, not now. I haven’t been to church in a while.
Does that mean I love God any less? No.
Does that mean He’s now ashamed of me or angry with me in any way? No.
Does that mean He loves me less than those who haven’t missed a sunday in 7 years? Nope.
So why put yourself in a position to be judged and judged and judged. 

I thought church was about fellowshipping with other Christ followers and loving everyone around you. Not a popularity contest to see who’s the holiest. 

My mind races. My heart aches. Life hasn’t been the same. When you lose something you love, there’s never really anything that can replace it. Not fully at least, but shouldn’t there be something that can suffice? Apparently not in my case. It’s only been a year. I’ll never be the same.

I really love styling taylors hair and her beautiful split ends that are something fierce.

Peace, love, and haircuts.

“Hope
is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune
without the words,
and never stops at all.”

-Emily Dickinson

You are a deep stillness
inside me always forever—-
and no matter
what you give or 
what you withhold—-
with great unknowing
feathered wings
you keep my soul
aloft  

It’s so nice
to wake up in the morning
all alone 
and not have to tell somebody
you love them
when you don’t love them
anymore.

Richard Brautigan 

A skilled warrior does not rush ahead of others.
A skilled fighter does not make a show of anger.
A skilled victor does not seek revenge.
A skilled employer does not act superior. This is known as the virtue of not competing.
This is known as making use of the abilities of others.
This is known as being united with heaven as it was in ancient times.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am in a thousand winds that blow,I am the softly falling snow.I am the gentle showers of rain,I am the fields of ripening grain.I am in the morning hush,I am in the graceful rushOf beautiful birds in circling flight,I am the starshine of the night.I am in the flowers that bloom,I am in a quiet room.I am in the birds that sing,I am in each lovely thing.Do not stand at my grave bereftI am not there. I have not left.

Mary Elizabeth Frye 1932

Today I was asked what my definition of love was. 

Well honestly, I don’t believe love can really be defined other than agape— God’s unconditional, limitless, endless love for His children.

Love is never completely discovered.

Everyone had their own perception of what love is, and at whatever level they are at, they believe that they have finally found it. The closest we can get to finding agape love on this earth is with the one person God has planned for us to be with for the rest of our lives. 

How do we know if we find that agape love God has planned for is? 

What if we can’t unmask this love until we say those two words. “I do.”